Coaching for Parents

A child will not get better, and a family will not get better if the adults don’t change.

The bad news: While there are many factors that can cause a child to be suffering – and we will address them all – how parents respond to the child is the critical factor in both maintaining and resolving the problem. The good news: This critical factor is under your control, and I can help you change.

Working with the parent is so effective that sometimes the child doesn’t need to come in for more than one session!

Surprising, I know. I recall the case of six-year-old Joey, whose parents brought him to see me because he was particularly difficult in the evenings on weekdays.

Mom described a terrible ruckus at the end of the day: no cooperation with eating dinner, bathing or getting to bed. God forbid he had a homework page to do.

Both mom and dad worked full time, so Joey was in school from 7 am until nearly 6 pm every work day. Mom, in particular, felt guilty about this arrangement, but it was what this family needed to do – and many families are in the exact same position. As soon as they got home, the power struggle began.

I taught Mom and Dad how to do Special Time with Joey twice per week. We also worked on Mom and Dad establishing what I like to call benign royal rule – they learned how to change their tone of voice, the words they used, and, most importantly, change their behavior.

Once they got through the first few days where Joey fought them every step of the way, they were amazed to see how loving, kind and cooperative their son had become. Everyone started to look forward to the end of the day as a time to relax and reconnect. In this case, as with many others, the real work was done by Mom and Dad, with my support.

You are the King and/or Queen of your castle.

If you haven’t done it already, I will help you take your rightful position on the throne of your family. Or in some cases, you will be reclaiming it from your little prince or princess. When I talk this way, children immediately get it. They know the King and/or Queen are the rightful rulers of the realm, and that princes and princesses don’t run the show. (I describe myself as the royal advisor to make it clear to your kids that I am not the Queen either.) They know that someday they will grow up to be the Queen or King of their own castles.

No matter how much they protest, the princes and princesses know they are not fit to lead.

Children feel more secure when they know what the boundaries are and when they see that the Queen or King is calm, loving, and firmly in control. Yes, they will test the boundaries – that is normal. They will naturally want to know just how much power they have and if you’re willing to yield any power to them.

I am not asking or suggesting that you become a heartless, compassionless, unkind, short-tempered, controlling fiend of a King or Queen. I just want you to reclaim your rightful throne.

Stop Searching. Start Healing. Today. Right Now. Call 609-865-9902.